Monday, 21 May 2012

It's been a funny old week!!!

Hey everyone, I have been somewhat elusive over that past 10 days or so, I took a weekend off last week to go and spend some time with my friend in Taunton, she's another "creative" and has been working on some jewellery to sell with me at "Volksfest" and wanted to do a photo shoot for promotion and her soon to be set up Folksy shop, I love her jewellery, she's very much a cool up-cycler so her newest collection is made up of old t-shirts, charms and bit's and bob's from broken jewellery....Very cool!
I came home on the Sunday and had intended to join in with the fabulous Handmade Monday folks but didn't get around to it, instead, on Monday, I had a complete melt down, not for any reason that I can actually explain, other than I am diagnosed Bi Polar and sometimes weird and unexplainable moods just seem to cover me like a nasty old rain cloud.  Not always low moods, sometimes I can get a little hysterical although the latter happens less and the former is normally accompanied by a complete inability to sleep, which after a few days can really feel like mental and physical torture!

Anyhow I'm not one to go on about such issues but after a trip to the doctors and a few extra magic pills to sedate and calm me down for a few days it lead on to me doing what I am going to show you for this weeks Handmade Monday.  I figured I would do some painting as I find working away at a canvas really relaxes me, I decided I didn't want to do a work related painting, just a bit of "Art".
Then it struck me that one of my friends had mentioned wanting a painting for his office, he had literally been promoted a few days before so I figured I would do him a painting as a way to congratulate him, I knew he had mentioned wanting a painting of an Eagle which is part of the Company name for who he works, so there I had it, an idea, a bit of personal therapy and a nice gift idea...................................

Yeah, whatever!

Honest to god I've never cursed, re-painted or stressed out over a canvas as much as I did with this one in my whole life, there were more than a few occasions where I gave serious thought to just putting my foot through it, but me being me, and refusing to admit defeat I finally came to a point where I stood back and thought ok, it's not great but it's not complete rubbish either.........I know declare it finished

I think (actually I know) that sometimes half my problem is, thanks to my dad, I was born a perfectionist, which is, for me, a double edged sword.
I think it's good to have a standard of quality, but sometimes I get silly about it, I guess it's because I know where I maybe went wrong a bit or where I couldn't get the perfect colour match, or whatever the case may be, but I stress myself out about it, get nervous about presenting the end product and then almost feel a bit dazed and confused when I get nothing but positive feedback, I've learnt to hold my tongue at this point too and just nod and thank people for their compliments, I used to go into one and say well it could be better or I messed that bit up...........But that never gets you anywhere apart from the odd stop being modest comment which goes on to make me feel even sillier than I did about panicking over handing the item over!

Anyhow, I'm going to stop rabbiting on and show you the painting, I'm making no comment as to where or what or how anything went wrong, and I will gladly take on any idea's for improvement to my technique or anything you can think of, I will simply say that my friend was more than happy with it and it now hangs on his office wall............................

The Eagle

That's about it for today, I'm off to nose about at some other great blogs on Handmade Monday as I always do, thanks for having a gander at what I've been up to, pop over and nose at other blogs too!


  1. That is one amaing painting - I love the glint in his eye and the contrast of his vibrant orange beak with the black and white feathers. You had better believe that you are a very talented lady - my lovely tea cosy shows that in spades.
    Hope you are feeling better soon. xxxx

    1. Hey Ann,

      I've been meaning to get back to you to say I'm so glad you are happy with your cosy prize! And a massive thank you for blogging about it!
      It's always lovely to get good feedback, so thanks again!

  2. That is such a stunning painting, you are such a talented artist, I think you have really captured the intensity of the eagle

    1. Thanks so much Nicki,
      It's always great to have some reassurance!

  3. I'm a bit like you when I'm painting - my very worst critic is myself. I pick at tiny, tiny faults that nobody else can even see! I think paintings were never meant to be perfect, so we should let it go a little bit! Your eagle is gorgeous and I'm sure your friend is thrilled with it.

    1. I'm so glad it's not just me!! I do agree with you though that paintings aren't meant to be perfect and I'm slowly learning to chill out over the little tiny bits!!
      I've had a thank you message every day since I handed the painting over so I'm taking that as a perfect outcome!

  4. I thought this was a photo on the thumbnail picture and thought twice about clicking on it but I am glad I did as it is amazing. I am too a perfectionist and totally understand but you should not worry at all. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It must be very hard for you at times. I had post natal depression and down times were awful, so I can begin to imagine what it might be like for you (a tiny bit). I Hope the medication works for you :) Keep doing the brilliant work.

  5. Wow, just wow. When I saw the thumbnail I thought it was a photo! You have captured the eyes of the eagle spot on. We are our own worse critics, I'm just the same! Sorry that you are coping with bi-polar I think if I didn't have all my crafts I would be in a sorry state. Your friend must be bowled over by the painting.